He is always the same
The Lord never ceases to leave me speechless, reeling in His magnificent, sovereign nature.
Today, I have been kind of packing up my room but also just kind of staring at my stuff. I am finishing my first year of college. Major accomplishment. I am also proud to say that I am finishing my first year of college with a stronger faith than before, having grown with the Lord much over this year. Another major accomplishment. I would like to say that it has been really easy to follow everything He shows me and see Him in everything all the time. That is what I would like to say. But that is not what I can say.
The truth is I see Him in everything all the time in other people’s lives. Weird, right? I can see Him in other’s lives all the time. I am quick to take note when someone tells me about a new thing or a development and it is so obvious to me that it is the Lord working. Just today, a girl who has gotten very close to some of my friends and I here recently headed to the hospital for some serious waiting time. She is waiting to see how her sickness will affect her body further. She is waiting to see how soon she will get out of the hospital. She is waiting to see when she will leave… Talking with her, knowing her, I can see all the awesome things that God is using her for.
But, today, (same day, same Hannah that sees God in that situation) I stopped seeing what God was doing in my life for just a second. My stomach has been in knots. I am ready to vomit up my healthy Chic-fil-a dinner. The reason: so much is changing right now! And it isn’t just that so much is changing, it is the specific things that are changing. For example, I am going home for the summer (something I am very happy about) but all my stuff will be boxed up and I will be traveling between many houses all summer long. That is not so fun for me. I like to be in the same place a lot. I like to be able to maintain friendships and community without driving all over middle Tennessee. That is just how I am. But that is not the only change; it is actually the most minor one. Really, I just feel like I would be complaining if I went on about this. Basically, I could sum it all up by saying my life is changing and I am in a waiting, in-between period where I just have to sit still (not literally but figuratively). I just have to wait, unsure of which parts of my life are the constant ones and which ones are changing.
So I sat to pray and God said, “I am the same. I am the constant. I do not change.”
I found myself weeping, crying out to Him. I was just repeating, “You do not change” over and over. And all these changes I have tried to ignore while in school are starting to slap me in the face. They are becoming bigger in my head than they are in reality just because they have always been the same my whole life and now, they are not. But God is. So what am I worried about?
Max Lucado points out the verse John 19:23 in his book He Chose Nails. It says, “When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom.” Lucado explains the significance of a seamless garment as a symbol of one’s characters. The fact that the garment had no seams was a sign of unified, unchanging character. He called Jesus “uninterrupted perfection”. I just read this and realized that, in order to fight that feeling of inconsistency in my life, I really need to clothe myself in a seamless God. I have to wear Jesus all day long everyday so that I may not only see God’s work in others lives but also in my own…all the time.
And not only does that help me to see God better in my life, it protects me. Jesus protects me from the whirlwind of changes around me with His constant, consistent nature. After realizing this, God has been reminding me of all the things in my life that are constant. The best example I have is Billy. The next best examples are my friends and family. Not only is He protecting me with His spirit, He is using His people. I just have to open my eyes and accept it.
Today, I have been kind of packing up my room but also just kind of staring at my stuff. I am finishing my first year of college. Major accomplishment. I am also proud to say that I am finishing my first year of college with a stronger faith than before, having grown with the Lord much over this year. Another major accomplishment. I would like to say that it has been really easy to follow everything He shows me and see Him in everything all the time. That is what I would like to say. But that is not what I can say.
The truth is I see Him in everything all the time in other people’s lives. Weird, right? I can see Him in other’s lives all the time. I am quick to take note when someone tells me about a new thing or a development and it is so obvious to me that it is the Lord working. Just today, a girl who has gotten very close to some of my friends and I here recently headed to the hospital for some serious waiting time. She is waiting to see how her sickness will affect her body further. She is waiting to see how soon she will get out of the hospital. She is waiting to see when she will leave… Talking with her, knowing her, I can see all the awesome things that God is using her for.
But, today, (same day, same Hannah that sees God in that situation) I stopped seeing what God was doing in my life for just a second. My stomach has been in knots. I am ready to vomit up my healthy Chic-fil-a dinner. The reason: so much is changing right now! And it isn’t just that so much is changing, it is the specific things that are changing. For example, I am going home for the summer (something I am very happy about) but all my stuff will be boxed up and I will be traveling between many houses all summer long. That is not so fun for me. I like to be in the same place a lot. I like to be able to maintain friendships and community without driving all over middle Tennessee. That is just how I am. But that is not the only change; it is actually the most minor one. Really, I just feel like I would be complaining if I went on about this. Basically, I could sum it all up by saying my life is changing and I am in a waiting, in-between period where I just have to sit still (not literally but figuratively). I just have to wait, unsure of which parts of my life are the constant ones and which ones are changing.
So I sat to pray and God said, “I am the same. I am the constant. I do not change.”
I found myself weeping, crying out to Him. I was just repeating, “You do not change” over and over. And all these changes I have tried to ignore while in school are starting to slap me in the face. They are becoming bigger in my head than they are in reality just because they have always been the same my whole life and now, they are not. But God is. So what am I worried about?
Max Lucado points out the verse John 19:23 in his book He Chose Nails. It says, “When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom.” Lucado explains the significance of a seamless garment as a symbol of one’s characters. The fact that the garment had no seams was a sign of unified, unchanging character. He called Jesus “uninterrupted perfection”. I just read this and realized that, in order to fight that feeling of inconsistency in my life, I really need to clothe myself in a seamless God. I have to wear Jesus all day long everyday so that I may not only see God’s work in others lives but also in my own…all the time.
And not only does that help me to see God better in my life, it protects me. Jesus protects me from the whirlwind of changes around me with His constant, consistent nature. After realizing this, God has been reminding me of all the things in my life that are constant. The best example I have is Billy. The next best examples are my friends and family. Not only is He protecting me with His spirit, He is using His people. I just have to open my eyes and accept it.
Wow. Hannah this was so awesome and raw. I can totally relate to most of the feelings you shared in this, except I don't have Billy in my life to be constant. haha. But really this is awesome, and I agree I see it in other peoples lives, but not my own at times. The thing is like you I can see it running through others, and I just wanted to share with you, the other day when I saw you volunteering at your worksite, even before you wrote this post, I could see God in you Hannah. God was in you and you were a Light For Him. Don't get discouraged when those times come, we all have them. But you had this awesome moment with God, remember what He told you. I'm so glad that you had this experience, and realization. Awesome post.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tanner! I know I am a little late reading comments but this truly touched me. I appreciate your encouragement and want you to know that Christ is extremely evident in your walk as well, every time I see you. Thanks so much.
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