all I ever wanted to be
Awake at night, I lay in bed and pick my sweet little girl up from her cradle in our room. I make an excuse to because I know it bothers my husband when he falls asleep and the baby is in the bed (even if I am wide awake). So, I just changed her diaper...now she is laying on my chest and I am wide awake. Being able to hear her breathe twice for each of my husbands deep, long, sleepy breaths is magical. Everything I have ever wanted to be is right here. Wife. Mother. Those are my dreams and aspirations. I am more than content. I am overflowing with joy. Holding his hand. Balancing her on my chest and belly. My beautifully stretched and mostly shrunken belly. This is very much so my home. Our home. Tomorrow night, as I walk the hallways into work and think to myself all the professional things we are taught to want- a masters degree, extra certifications, professional development- I will remember this right here. The baby hair tickling my chin and the calloused hands of a man who pro