in the love of Christ

Of all of the things I could choose as my first topic to blog about in such a long time, I have no idea why it has to be this one. But, it has to be this one. I just woke up from a sad dream. One that I hope my daughter never has. She is actually sleeping close by and I pray in this moment she will never experience the dream I just had. I was throwing a party in some strange alternate version of my present day life where I have a lot of land and tons of money to fund this kind of event. The scene is a not atypical for here in the south: big field, bonfire, beverages, cars/trucks parked everywhere, maybe 150 people total, country music coming from someone's open car. And I am single but all my girlfriends are there. I am, however, the only person with skin that is not white. Everything was going well. It was actually pretty fun. I was throwing the party so I may have been a little anxious and oblivious to the fact that people were keeping me at a distance when they could but,