Pleasing People or God?

I can clearly remember sitting in the stadium seated lecture hall for Anatomy and Physiology II at Western Kentucky University, halfway through college with the real beginning of nursing school only four months away. I don’t clearly remember what was going on in my life. What I clearly remember and have memorized since that very moment is this:

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” -Galatians 1:10

By nature, I am a little too strong-willed to be a people-pleaser. But, in certain settings, I can find myself giving in to the very human desire to be liked, to be approved of, to be understood. The Lord knows He has placed me in many of those “certain settings” in the past three years.

Thankfully, I am less likely to fall into the trap of people pleasing than I was sitting in that university lecture hall but less likely does not mean I never fall into it. I still stumble and start down that slippery slope! But, I tend to notice a little quicker and correct my course a bit sooner in the times that my focus is off of myself and on Jesus.

My current circumstances lend themselves to the trap of people-pleasing. I have recently moved, started a new job, and changed ministries as a family. We encounter new people every day. I felt worn a little thinner than normal this past week and took some time to ask the Lord what was going on, to help me see what was weighing me down.

He faithfully showed me in a time of worship. As the lyrics rolled off my tongue, I realized my feet had started to slip down the slope toward serving people rather than serving God and He was reaching out to help me up.

“From the need to be understood
And from a need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me O God
...
And I shall not want, no, I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness, I shall not want”
Audrey Assad

How desperately do I want to be understood, to justify my actions and decisions? Even when I know I have done the right thing or made the right choice, a creeping fear can surface that someone might not understand, that they may not see things the way I have seen them. This can be most clearly displayed in my life as I take care of people, either personally or professionally.

In my awareness that I want to live a life that shines the Light of Jesus brightly, I had gotten caught up last week in meeting the needs of others while being overly concerned with their perception of me. That healthy self-awareness paired with caring for others needs had started to turn into people-pleasing.

When I say people-pleasing, what I really mean is serving others for the sake of their approval in place of serving God by caring for those around me. This kind of people-pleasing leaves me exhausted and worn, too tired to love people well and too anxious that I’ll make a wrong move. In that mode, I rely solely on my own abilities instead of on God’s work through me.

It is good to care for people, treat them well and meet their needs when your motives are sound. But, it hit me as I sang those words that I was people-pleasing out of fear. A shift had happened from loving people well because I was satisfied in God’s love and goodness to pleasing people out of fear that they wouldn’t like or trust me.

An exhausting fear of being disliked or misunderstood slipped in the moment I began to value my relationship with people over my relationship with God.

In the same breath that this realization hit me, the goodness of God swept over me as well. He showed me moment by moment how He was providing for every single need I had that morning. He reminded me of His promise of His abundant goodness in my bible study shortly after that with a verse from Psalm 31:19. He gave me peace to just do the right thing, no matter the cost or how I am perceived by others

The goodness of God leaves me feeling safe and known, giving me the strength to do nearly impossible things because His goodness is so often displayed in my inability to do everything just right. Even if no one ever understands why I felt the way I felt or did the things I did, His goodness satisfies me because He, my Creator and Friend, knows me full well.

The reason I had to sit down and walk through this situation with written words, though not terribly specific in the details (after all, this testimony isn’t really about me), is because I am certain I am not the only person tempted to forfeit the lasting, unexplainable peace of God for the temporary, hard to grasp approval of people. I cannot be the only person that needs to be encouraged by the God who desires to help us walk out His purpose and goodness.

May we lift our gaze to Christ, covering us in His grace and mercy as we seek Him first and His Kingdom.

In the Love of Christ,
Hannah

“Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind!” (Psalm 31:19)

“But if anyone loves God, he is known by God.” 1 Corinthians 8:3