Eyes Wide Open

Sitting here, I opened my eyes. Those on my face were open and staring blankly at a computer screen but those of my heart were very much so closed.

I sit here with my eyes open and see that change is happening all around me. I have nothing deep or spiritual revelations to post about today but simply some words from my wide open eyes.

For weeks now, every night has been filled with mostly genuine interactions with my friends. I have conversed with my husband over many things but always after the laughter and words of our friends have barely faded from our presence. Life is flying by and I have not been alone much.

I like to be alone. I actually love to be alone but my eyes just opened to the reality that many of my dearest friends will be in distant places from our current “home”. I have 14 days until I am a college graduate. What that says for my personal life is that I have 14 days left to devour precious moments with my friends.

I’ve no doubt that the many memories and moments are more than enough to feed my soul when hungry for time with certain people but, just in case I haven’t stored enough of each of their precious personalities up in my mind and heart, I am rushing about trying to keep them with me.

So, I am sitting alone with my eyes wide open realizing how fast I have been moving. I have garnered so many new memories with so many old and new friends in such a short period of time. I am worried it isn’t enough. Silly. I never thought I could so desperately love so many people who were not born into my life but rather thrust into it, each through different channels.

I am blessed and happy and emotional and loved. I can see all of that with my wide open eyes. And I am excited but nervously fearful of times without them each a 10 minute drive away.

And my heart started singing “How I wish, how I wish you were here…” to the future versions of my beloved friends. Different contexts and circumstances all together but the same sentiment.

Into these next days, years, decades we are going. My eyes are open.

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