Working Things Out

In my life, right now, I am definitely going through a few transitions. In Next Door Neighbor, Max Lucado calls transitions "the desert". I loved this description of transition periods because there is waiting implied and temptation. When Jesus spent forty days in the desert, each day was filled with waiting and temptations. When I read that this summer, I reflected on it and definitely identified some of those "deserts" in my past. Now, I believe I am identifying one in the present. I am not sure what is going on around me. I feel a little confused and a lot vulnerable but also comforted all in one. This could be because of the near end of my first semester of college or the transition from just loving someone special to wanting to make that as concrete and permanent as possible. Because of the uncertainties of what my future is going to look like, exactly, I am definitely trying to focus on the constants in my life (the Word, Billy, my family, schoolwork, etc.) and I realize now how imperative it is that I continuously focus and center in on God.

It is easy for me to give my life over to God, to surrender everything to Him when I feel certain that the end result will be what I want. But in some of these transitions, the end result is much foggier than in others. It may be that I am going through multiple transitions at once, but I can't see clearly the path that I should follow. I am definitely learning through this what it means to give it all over to God, even when I think that it, in fact, will not turn out the way that I thought/wanted it to.

I have been reminded of two verses today that I will lean on for a while. The first is from 2 Corinthians verses 1:3-4. It says,

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted."

This has been a comfort for me today as I consider exactly what it is I am going through or may go through. I am truly comforted by the fact that, even in my suffering or affliction, I am being prepared for works that God has planned for me, for ministry and discipleship that has yet to come! I am excited for that and it is definitely the water at the far edge of this desert that I seem to be trudging through. But I also must admit that, though I am excited for the day that God's plans are revealed and I look back on this time and say "This is why that happened" and "I made an impact even in my affliction", my human qualities are keeping me from fully living free from worry: worry about what may happen, worry about whether I get the big picture, worry about if I am even doing the right things. This is where the next verses that are helping me keep my head up come in.

This verse is from Matthew chapter 6 verses 25-27 and 34,

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

OH MY GOODNESS!!! Part of the reason I absolutely love the way this makes me feel (convicted, comforted, encouraged, amazed, etc.) is because it is straight from the mouth of my savior! God on Earth just told me not to worry about tomorrow because I can't add even a minute to my life by doing so. But the biggest thing for me today is just putting my life in God's hands. "Are you not more valuable than they?" hits hard as a reminder that it doesn't matter what desert I am in or how much I am suffering because the God of everything, my heavenly Father, cares about me so much more than I can imagine and He is watching me and providing for me!! I know this post is going on forever so just imagine what my head is like :P.

My charge for the rest of the time that I am in this transitional desert is that I will never stop glorifying God and that I will do what I can, day-by-day, to follow His will and be a light to the lost. Because, at the end of the day, when I have said goodnight to Billy and written in my prayer journal, I feel an urgency to stand on a mountaintop and share the Love of Christ with the world. Even though I am confused and suffering a little (nearly nothing in comparison to the heartbreaking suffering all around this world!), I pray that I will never lose that fire and passion to tell the world that Jesus is love.