in the love of Christ

We all change. I just folded another load of laundry and realized that, at some point, the way I fold towels has changed. There used to be one - and only one - way to fold a towel in my life. You hold it up, fold in one third onto the middle third then the last third onto that to make one long panel that you would fold twice on top of itself. That...sounds ridiculous when I write it out but that is the way it was! I looked down at my stack of towels today and realized these towels look nothing like my pristinely folded towels of early marriage. Why did I change my pattern? Have I gotten lazy and this is less intensive? Or did my circumstances change? Have we bought towels of different shapes recently? Yes! I see it now. My little window sill in our Irish bathroom with just enough ledge to hold our towels and no cabinet space to be found. I changed my technique to fit that window sill because no one wants to run down the hall to the hot press (hall closet...kindof) naked and...

I have been looking to my left, through the wide windows of our bedroom turned in-home office, for three weeks now. I think it has been three weeks. Four weeks may have already passed uncounted by my occupied mind. So, I am sitting down to take an inventory within. From the sounds of my conversations and the looks of our social media feeds, it is clear that none of us really know if we are doing this season of life correctly. There is certainly a sense some days that we made it through work at home, church from home, school at home, physical distancing and social connection where able with a sense of accomplishment and gratitude. But, there are other days that feel so unsettled, unaccomplished and uncertain that I can only cling to the command to take heart in Jesus. I have tried to be careful what I share publicly - there are so many feelings and opinions. Reluctantly, we shared that we are expecting another baby because at 20 weeks on the fourth pregnancy (I write fourth ...

I had spent time in the bible for the first time in years as a seventeen year old girl completely overwhelmed by how much good news there was to read in this leather bound book with my full name printed in the bottom right corner of the cover. This gift had always been precious to me but had collected dust for a while. It was becoming the lifeline I did not realize my soul needed. I quickly quipped a scripture from the book of Romans in the New Testament that I had been rolling around in my head to a leader from church. We were discussing some hard things happening and I said, “Oh but we know that God is working in all things for the good of those who love Him!” Papa Gary looked back at me and said, “and have been called according to His purpose. Don’t ever forget there’s more to that verse. You have to look at the whole promise.” For days - maybe years - that rolled and cycled in my head and my heart. The whole promise? What’s the difference? Wait, for whom will God work ...

I can clearly remember sitting in the stadium seated lecture hall for Anatomy and Physiology II at Western Kentucky University, halfway through college with the real beginning of nursing school only four months away. I don’t clearly remember what was going on in my life. What I clearly remember and have memorized since that very moment is this: “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” -Galatians 1:10 By nature, I am a little too strong-willed to be a people-pleaser. But, in certain settings, I can find myself giving in to the very human desire to be liked, to be approved of, to be understood. The Lord knows He has placed me in many of those “certain settings” in the past three years. Thankfully, I am less likely to fall into the trap of people pleasing than I was sitting in that university lecture hall but less likely does not mean I never fall into it. ...

This conversation happens every time I pick up the hair brush in our home. Daughter: Brush my sister's hair first! I don't want you to brush my hair! Me: I have to brush your hair now please come here before it dries and let me brush it. Daughter: It will be okay without brushing. I don't want to do it! I have tried a thousand ways to get to the hair brushing point without crying. I use distraction. I buy the fancy hair products. I therapeutically discuss, at other points in the day when we are all calm and well fed, why we brush hair and how necessary it is. We have even talked through the options of cutting hair so brushing takes less time. But, nearly every time, the hairbrush comes out with sounds of anguish and fury (too dramatic...or completely accurate?). I remind them that, in our home, brushing hair is not a "want to" but a "have to" activity. There are a few sentences that I hear my mouth repeat during a hair brushing. Phrases li...

It is hard to be so far away from people you love so dearly. For years, I have read the letters written by the Paul the Apostle in the New Testament and thought it was so sweet how much he loved the churches he was teaching from afar. He pours out beautiful prayers for them and makes it clear that he has been endeavoring to keep up with the news there. He is definitely not the only one who loves his brothers and sisters deeply, but he is the one on my mind today. When we landed in Ireland over a year ago, I started to feel that longing for our families and our friends back in the States. I was watching on social media as the church we had just been serving for four years was changing, growing in answer to so many teary eyed and heavy hearted prayers. I was in the group texts still hearing the prayer requests and praises of women in whom the Lord was mightily working. I longed to see it with my eyes but knew it wasn't my place to be there in that season. From afar, I pra...

We live in the unexpected. God, in His mercy, gives us glimpses of what lies ahead of us more often than not. Those glimpses come through encouraging conversations, deeply seated passions within us, or doors that open wide before us. Those glimpses are displays of His mercy as He shows us where we go next and they don’t happen every time. Having been “on the mission field” now since January, serving the Lord in ministry of a much different variety than our previous lives in the American church, I can honestly say I found myself nesting into our current life. Part of that nesting comes naturally when you have a baby and want to have a safe, comfortable home for that little one to enter into. The other part of that nesting is just the basic human desire to feel at home. This can become an idol for me, taking my focus off God and putting it on myself . I mean, on those sometimes rare evenings where the whole house is tidy (it’s never actually clean...just tidy) and the kiddos...