in the love of Christ

I am going to tell a long story about bringing Jordan Lynn into the world. I don’t want to forget a bit of it. Not. One. Bit. I do want to share some parts of it here with you. Months ago, I found myself learning new things. Maybe they weren’t all new things but a revision of some truths I have known for years with new understanding of the Truth written on my heart. Scripture after scripture, sermon after sermon, podcast after podcast the Lord was fleshing out the same things in me and He still is. But, one thing, kept coming up and it frightened me. I have been intentionally studying how to pray in the Spirit for a year now. It has changed my prayer time from bringing a list of requests to God and then finishing my coffee to get on with my day. Praying has turned into a real conversation, as one sided as it may seem audibly, where I find myself praying for things I would not ordinarily pray about. It’s been more driven by the Holy Spirit. Here is one of my favorite mini-ex...

I woke up today and forgot for a good few hours what day it was. With one kid getting ready for school, the other following behind her big sister, a very pregnant me trying to eat something before nausea sets in and my husband watching the clock to get out the door on time, I would say I didn’t give enough thought to the calendar this mornings. But, that is real life. We sat at the table for a moment together, him and I. The little girls played imagination in the living room while we grasped one another’s hand and stared out into the miles of rolling Irish hills scattered with greens and sheep. Seven years. It has been nearly ten years since we met and started “doing life” together. Nearly ten years have passed since we found the Lord placed the same call in our hearts for His Kingdom in Ireland. Nearly ten years have passed since I saw a young man who fervently sought to know God and love Him with all he had. Today, though, marks the shift and covenant day between us. ...

As I have read and prayed through Psalm 139 the past few weeks, I find myself wondering how many of us have sat in a season of life where we could take enough breaths and think to ourselves that things are really steady. At some point, have you ever thought you were sufficiently strong in faith and knowledge? That there was no real risk involved as you work out your faith in action? That there is no fear left to creep in? Me neither. Maybe, for a few moments, I might have thought that in the last four years. But, I clearly remember praying that God would grow me. Heck, many throughout God’s Kingdom were singing this prayer: “Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, where my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.” (“Oceans” by Hillsong) If you don’t think the songs you raise in worship to the Lord are prayers, you might want to watch out. Watc...

“Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.” I bought this wooden block a year and a half ago. It was a time where I found myself with lunch breaks to meet up with friends or to think alone at the coffee shop over my favorite hummus plate. I had accepted a job about five months before as a nursing director at a local agency providing community based support and nursing services to people in their homes. It was exciting and challenging and truly a position I had always said I didn’t want. But, I loved it! Home by 5:30pm from my job right down the street, able to have dinner and rest with my family, setting goals as a family and seeing them happen, having the chance to advocate for peoples’ best health and choices every single day… this was a dream come true. It was a dream I didn’t know I wanted. So, when I saw this little wooden block I knew it was necessary. I bought it and put it right in my kitchen, alternating between stove top and window sill, to ...

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” 2 Corinthians 3:17 A couple of months ago, I was driving into town with my girls. My oldest toddler was sitting in the back seat quietly singing to herself. “Oh-oh, My God is always with me wherever I go.” She has a raspy, child’s voice and it was sweet to hear her singing that in the dark of night in a quiet car. I prayed she would know that, believe that, and experience that for her whole life. Her God is with her wherever she goes. It was a crazy season. We had sold our house, sold nearly everything we owned, moved in with my in-laws, and accepted positions to serve as missionaries abroad. We were just two months shy of the big move and there was a ton of… feelings and emotions. My daughter would ask to please go drive by our old house, already redecorated and looking familiar yet foreign to us. We were, and still are in many ways, living lives with no strings attached. Hymns reiterati...

I woke up today thinking of birds. We are staying with family in New Orleans and the walls are a treasure chest of beautiful art. My aunt tells us that they have bought at least one piece of art each year of their marriage. Walking the halls is like stepping into a treasury of expression. My eye always looks for birds. Though there are meaningful pieces of every variety, the birds catch my eye most. They are a living reminder of God’s promise. In this season of our lives, we have sold all of our belongings (save a few mementos that wouldn’t make a penny but are priceless to us) and left our jobs. We are raising financial support for our ministry abroad as we prepare to be present disciples, sharing the hope of Christ with many who may never have hear it before. We are transient, living with my husband’s parents as we wait to step into the place God has called us next: Ireland. And, each day, I find myself growing closer to God. He is teaching me things I never dreamed I wo...

March 6, 2015 I can see myself holding him. Snuggled at my breast as I comfort him, he sleeps and I rock him by the window. "Stay awake, don't rest your head. Hmmm hmm hmmm..." February 15, 2016 I am cleaning out the notes on my phone and I read those words. The difference in a year is astounding. The season of birthday, holidays, showers is almost over and I am ready for that. I am ready to draw into myself, recuse myself from the social calendar and sit a while. This time, a new little girl will join me in my post new year repose. She will offer me a break from the work I do and usher in a new season of my motherhood. I am beyond excited to hold her, love her and rock her as I have only done from my womb until now. She will be here soon. But her sibling, the one to whom we said goodbye last year at this time and the one who seems to stir my mind as well as her father's mind, is still here. Engraved on my heart and bones, he will never leave and I am glad fo...