in the love of Christ

I had spent time in the bible for the first time in years as a seventeen year old girl completely overwhelmed by how much good news there was to read in this leather bound book with my full name printed in the bottom right corner of the cover. This gift had always been precious to me but had collected dust for a while. It was becoming the lifeline I did not realize my soul needed. I quickly quipped a scripture from the book of Romans in the New Testament that I had been rolling around in my head to a leader from church. We were discussing some hard things happening and I said, “Oh but we know that God is working in all things for the good of those who love Him!” Papa Gary looked back at me and said, “and have been called according to His purpose. Don’t ever forget there’s more to that verse. You have to look at the whole promise.” For days - maybe years - that rolled and cycled in my head and my heart. The whole promise? What’s the difference? Wait, for whom will God work ...

I can clearly remember sitting in the stadium seated lecture hall for Anatomy and Physiology II at Western Kentucky University, halfway through college with the real beginning of nursing school only four months away. I don’t clearly remember what was going on in my life. What I clearly remember and have memorized since that very moment is this: “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” -Galatians 1:10 By nature, I am a little too strong-willed to be a people-pleaser. But, in certain settings, I can find myself giving in to the very human desire to be liked, to be approved of, to be understood. The Lord knows He has placed me in many of those “certain settings” in the past three years. Thankfully, I am less likely to fall into the trap of people pleasing than I was sitting in that university lecture hall but less likely does not mean I never fall into it. ...

This conversation happens every time I pick up the hair brush in our home. Daughter: Brush my sister's hair first! I don't want you to brush my hair! Me: I have to brush your hair now please come here before it dries and let me brush it. Daughter: It will be okay without brushing. I don't want to do it! I have tried a thousand ways to get to the hair brushing point without crying. I use distraction. I buy the fancy hair products. I therapeutically discuss, at other points in the day when we are all calm and well fed, why we brush hair and how necessary it is. We have even talked through the options of cutting hair so brushing takes less time. But, nearly every time, the hairbrush comes out with sounds of anguish and fury (too dramatic...or completely accurate?). I remind them that, in our home, brushing hair is not a "want to" but a "have to" activity. There are a few sentences that I hear my mouth repeat during a hair brushing. Phrases li...

It is hard to be so far away from people you love so dearly. For years, I have read the letters written by the Paul the Apostle in the New Testament and thought it was so sweet how much he loved the churches he was teaching from afar. He pours out beautiful prayers for them and makes it clear that he has been endeavoring to keep up with the news there. He is definitely not the only one who loves his brothers and sisters deeply, but he is the one on my mind today. When we landed in Ireland over a year ago, I started to feel that longing for our families and our friends back in the States. I was watching on social media as the church we had just been serving for four years was changing, growing in answer to so many teary eyed and heavy hearted prayers. I was in the group texts still hearing the prayer requests and praises of women in whom the Lord was mightily working. I longed to see it with my eyes but knew it wasn't my place to be there in that season. From afar, I pra...

We live in the unexpected. God, in His mercy, gives us glimpses of what lies ahead of us more often than not. Those glimpses come through encouraging conversations, deeply seated passions within us, or doors that open wide before us. Those glimpses are displays of His mercy as He shows us where we go next and they don’t happen every time. Having been “on the mission field” now since January, serving the Lord in ministry of a much different variety than our previous lives in the American church, I can honestly say I found myself nesting into our current life. Part of that nesting comes naturally when you have a baby and want to have a safe, comfortable home for that little one to enter into. The other part of that nesting is just the basic human desire to feel at home. This can become an idol for me, taking my focus off God and putting it on myself . I mean, on those sometimes rare evenings where the whole house is tidy (it’s never actually clean...just tidy) and the kiddos...

My daughter came in from school yesterday a little out of sorts. There is this look that comes across her face when she is trying to distract herself, or maybe just distract me, from the fact that she is upset. She couldn’t hide it for too long because, once she got upset about the scissors not working well, she had a meltdown. This was not about the scissors. After a few minutes of crying and being held in my lap, she finally told me what happened. Her friend at school was awarded “Student of the Day” for being a great helper, or something of that sort. I told her how exciting that her friend has been such a good helper that she got that title! My daughter disagreed. She told me she was too sad for herself to be happy for her friend. Somehow, the Lord led us through that conversation. I explained to her that it is ok to be sad for ourselves and happy for our friends at the same time, that the Bible tells us to laugh with those who laugh and mourn with those who mourn. S...

I am going to tell a long story about bringing Jordan Lynn into the world. I don’t want to forget a bit of it. Not. One. Bit. I do want to share some parts of it here with you. Months ago, I found myself learning new things. Maybe they weren’t all new things but a revision of some truths I have known for years with new understanding of the Truth written on my heart. Scripture after scripture, sermon after sermon, podcast after podcast the Lord was fleshing out the same things in me and He still is. But, one thing, kept coming up and it frightened me. I have been intentionally studying how to pray in the Spirit for a year now. It has changed my prayer time from bringing a list of requests to God and then finishing my coffee to get on with my day. Praying has turned into a real conversation, as one sided as it may seem audibly, where I find myself praying for things I would not ordinarily pray about. It’s been more driven by the Holy Spirit. Here is one of my favorite mini-ex...